Topic 2: ‘For all children, the ability to play a musical instrument is just as important as the ability to read and write.’ How far do you agree with this suggestion? How important is it for a child to learn to play a musical instrument, in your view?
Model Essay:
The question of which skills to priorities for a child’s early education is important for all parents and educators, and music can certainly claim to be a key possibility when deciding which abilities to teach. However, I feel that playing music is actually less important than basic literacy, and I will explain the reasons here.
Firstly, it seems simplistic to say that music is paramount ‘for all children.’ Certainly, there are some children who are highly talented or have great interest in music, and when we think of childhood prodigies such as Beethoven or Yehudi Menuhin we see how this talent can be brought out.However, such talents are rare, and even the enjoyment and cultural values to be gained from learning music cannot genuinely be compared to the benefits of becoming literate. Secondly, it is a fact that literacy is a guarantee of academic progress and the absorption of information, while playing music does not offer this security. For example, it would be unimaginable to transmit scientific or mathematical information to children via the medium of music. Finally, it is surely wiser to regard music as one of a wide range of secondary skills, ranking below literacy and sitting alongside sports, hobbies, foreign languages and other important but less essential activities.
Of course, those who say that highly talented children must be allowed to develop their talents are quite correct; it is equally true, though, that few children seem to possess musical ability to the extent that it should be prioritised so highly for all pupils.
In conclusion, I would not wish to underestimate the potential benefits of learning to play music for a minority of children, and it should certainly be available as an option. However, if we think of all children in a given community, literacy appears to be a far stronger pathway to progress and independence.
(309 words)
Examiner’s notes
This candidate has produced a Band 9 essay with a clear structure, logical ideas and a strong command of Academic English. The introduction introduces some general background about the topic, and makes it clear that the essay will be the appropriate Opinion>Personal viewpoint type. The main body is largely given to an explanation of the candidate’s reasons for thinking this, which are sequenced well with ‘Firstly/secondly/finally.’ In this section, the writer avoids using ‘I’ and uses impersonal structures instead (‘it seems . . . when we think of . . . it is a fact that . . . it is surely’) which we would expect in Academic writing in English. There is a short ‘concession’ paragraph that mentions the opposing view and then counters it with a logical objection. The language throughout is academic in style but is never too formal or complicated. For instance, the part which reads . . .
‘Secondly, it is a fact that literacy is a guarantee of academic progress and the absorption of information, while playing music does not offer this security. For example, it would be unimaginable to transmit scientific or mathematical information to children via the medium of music.’
. . . is an excellent demonstration of complex sentences (ie sentences with several ideas) written in a clear way which is similar to academic writing or advanced journalism which one might read in the media. The two musical geniuses given as examples are sufficiently well-known to be relevant (this is something which can cause problems when candidates reference people whom they know about but who are not widely known to the public.) The conclusion is effective in summarising the main ideas and recapping on the writer’s opinion. As an examiner, I start reading an IELTS essay by