Topic 5: ‘People who do not use social media networks will always fall behind in career development opportunities.’ To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? (Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.)
Model Essay:
Social media plays an increasingly pivotal role in our lives, and an ability to use these systems is certainly an advantage both socially and professionally. However, it seems rather excessive to say that ignorance of these matters will ‘always’ restrict people’s careers, and I will explain why.
Firstly, career progression relies on a whole range of factors, not only on the use of social media. For example, a professional person will have a range of qualifications, ranging from academic exams to vocational certificates and membership of professional bodies. We see this in the way that successful doctors take increasingly specialized qualifications and join specific institutes to develop their skills. Here, social media may be a communication tool, but is surely not the driving force behind success. Secondly, career development relies greatly on interpersonal skills such as presentation methods, persuasiveness and negotiation, all of which are used in face-to-face situations rather than remotely. Finally, we should remember the dangers of social media and the risk of actually hindering one’s career, for instance by accidentally distributing awkward photos or comments which can be an embarrassment personally and professionally. Indeed, many professionals in fact minimize their use of these media because of this risk.
Admittedly, it is true that social media presents great opportunities for making contacts and networking, for example by building a following or exchanging updates on a particular topic. However, this tends to happen when a person is already qualified and respected in their field, rather than being a cause of success.
In conclusion, it appears that skillful use of these media can play a useful role in career progression, despite the possible risks. Nevertheless, the fundamental qualifications and personal skills which drive a career will ensure that those who are not enthusiastic users will still progress as they wish.
(302 words)
Examiner’s notes
This is an impressive Band 9 essay: clear for me to read, with suitable ideas and evidence. The intro helps me to anticipate what will be in the main body (‘I will explain why’) and, by focussing on the key word ‘always,’ it shows that the candidate has analysed the task carefully. This is a strong start. The main body has strong linking between ideas (‘Firstly . . . Secondly . . . Finally’) and the evidence is presented with a range of structures (‘For example . . . such as . . . for instance . . . ranging from/to . . . we see this in the way . . .’) which add variety. The concession is clearly introduced (‘Admittedly’) and the opposing view is rejected in a logical way. The conclusion is balanced (‘Nevertheless’) and is an effective recap of the main ideas. The academic style is very effective, with a number of complex sentences (sentences with two or more ideas) especially in main body and conclusion. Some of the vocab is quite simple (eg ‘face-to-face’) but this fits the argument well; elsewhere, the vocabulary shows a very advanced grasp, especially words such as ‘pivotal, vocational, to hinder, fundamental.’ One point I would like to emphasise is the nature of the ideas in this essay. The candidate’s reasons for his opinion are based on quite simple reasons, which he explains with clear examples. As an examiner, I like to see such simple, clearly-explained reasons which allow the candidate to demonstrate his skills of organisation and Academic English style.